Just thoughts...Need to get off my chest.

It has been 11 days since my surgery... and I have had a thousand thoughts.  I can definitely say I am in a bit of mourning for my old eating habits.  I know that is strange to say with my WHOLE new life ahead, but it's true.  And I want above all else for this blog to be honest.  Every time I see a commercial with fast food, an ad in the paper, I think about my old eating habits.  I just wish I could eat a double cheeseburger and fries.  Now granted, I am NOT hungry... at least my body isn't...but, my head-- that's a different story.  I'm sure that other people who have eating disorders can understand.  It is my addiction to food.

I just keep reminding myself that I am going to feel so much better in just a few more pounds.  This VSG is going to be the tool I need to make the life change I HAVE to make.  There are reasons I went to this drastic measure.  #1 I want to feel better.  #2 I want to be able to enjoy life with my family.  I don't want to always worry that I can't keep up or that I'll be the person that holds them back.  #3 I want a change! #4 I want to be able to go into ANY department store and buy a shirt right off the rack!!
There are a million other reasons, but those are just a few.

Another reason for this blog, as I believe I've mentioned, I don't want to drive people crazy with my ramblings about weight loss.  I can tell already that my neice, Christy, does not want to hear it... :)

Today, I am going to buy a digital scale and a blender (for the pureed stage that starts next Friday).

Now, about my weight loss... I started before surgery at 258 pounds, on March 18th I was 241... and today, March 29th I am 230!  That's 28 pounds from my start weight!  I'm glad for that.

So... What am I "eating"...

What am I eating?  Well, you cannot call it eating.  As a matter of fact, I'm still on liquids until next Thursday.  So, my "meals" consist of mainly water, 1/4 cup of strained soups, and sometimes a little Silk.  I have tried to take my protein shake back in, but it KILLS my stomach.  I'm not sure why, but that protein shake sits like a rock.  So, the dietician suggests I try just a little Silk.  That will give me some protein on these days when I really can't take in anything.

The great news about all of this is, I'm not hungry.  That is the strangest feeling.  To go from what I considered "normal" hunger, to NONE!  What a weird feeling.

Anyway, hopefully I will have something new to report when I get to the pureed stage next Friday.  My friend, Crystal, who had the VSG about 3 weeks before me, is keeping me informed about her changes in stages.

The main reason I'm doing this blog, is to just get out there what I am thinking and feeling throughout this journey, so I will not worry my family completely to death.  :)

Don't you always hate those people on diets that are losing weight, constantly talking about it... I don't want to be that girl, well.... except in this blog. LOL

It is Official..I'm SLEEVED!

It is official, I was sleeved on Monday, March 18th at approximately 9 AM.  I wasn't afraid on Monday, although I had no idea how I would feel on the day of surgery.  This has been an insane journey.  It all started about this time last year.  Going to see my regular doctor each month for six months and then going through all of the hoops to get the surgery approved by my insurance company.

I think the thing I was most afraid of was the 10 day liquid diet.  I thought there was no way in the world I would be able to go without solid food for 10 days, but I DID IT!  I surprised myself.  I won't pretend that those last three days on clear liquids was easy or fun...but I realized I am a strong woman.  It also made me positive without a doubt that I wanted this surgery.  I really wanted it.

So, Monday, I was strong in my resolve.  I woke from surgery and wasn't in that much pain, but just as I had warned the doctors and nurses, I was SOO nauseous.  I spend Monday-Wednesday throwing up every single time I awoke from my drug-induced sleep.  My poor son, had to keep the bucket handy.  The first night I was throwing up blood and felt sure that there was something horribly wrong, but after the upper GI the next day, all was well.  So, when the blood stopped coming up, then came just bile, because there was absolutely NOTHING I could throw up having had no food for so long.

Then, on Thursday, all the vomiting stopped!  I got to eat ice chips.. and I got to go home the exact same day.  It was a longer hospital stay than I had anticipated.  Overall, the journey was good.

I had my post op appointment with the doctor on Monday.  I was pleased... and they were pleased.

My starting weight was 258 pounds... on day of surgery I was 241 pounds... and Monday i was 239!

I'm excited for the rest of this journey and pray that I will be as successful as I want to be!  I want to rock my sleeve and become a new and more healthy ME!